Monday, October 10, 2011

Eleanor Of Aquitaine commiserates with Demi Moore

Eleanor of Aquitaine, a twelth century Queen, has been in the same place as Demi Moore is now,with her current lover Ashton Kutcher. She shares her views for Demi

Missive to Ms Demi Moore from Her Royal Highness, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Queen of France and England

Ma Cherie Demi,

What can I say to console you? All men are schmucks. I am writing to sympathise with your current situation with votre beau fils Ashton. I too had the anguish of losing favour to a younger woman. I first met my Henry, then Duke of Normandy when he was but eighteen years of age. I had once dallied with his father but after setting eyes on young Henry, it was lust at first sight for both of us. But first I had to arrange the annulment from my first husband, Louis VII, King of France. Married to Louis when I was just fifteen, it was a passionless marriage. Louis, as second son had thought to give his heart, body and soul to the church. Instead he was crowned king, and I, queen within weeks of our betrothal. No handsome and virile Bruce Willis for me, ma Cherie.( Why ever did you throw him over?) Ah, but I see. The younger model does have its appeal, n’est-ce pas ?

Henry was eleven years my junior when we married weeks after the annulment. I was twenty nine and as Henry would often tell me, more beautiful than all of the courts of Europe. I gave up the throne of France and two small daughters for him. But Henry gave me the throne of England instead. Not too many others can claim to have been Queen of France and then Queen of England. For the next fourteen years ours was a marriage of love and passion. Henry was “a young red-headed lion’, blatantly sexual with a muscular toned body. You would have very much approved ma cherie Demi.

Together we produced eight surviving children – five sons and three daughters. Two of my daughters would become queens and three of my sons, kings. But by the time our last son John was born Henry had moved on from his frequent dalliances to a more lasting affaire de Coeur with the fair Rosamund de Clifford.

I would have my revenge. I returned to my Duchy of Aquitaine and waited. Within 5 years my son, Young Henry, with the support of the Lords of Aquitaine and my former husband Louis, faced rebellion from all sides. Henry won out in the end and I was to face the next fifteen years imprisoned.

The greatest revenge is to outlive them all. Sadly Young Henry did not live to take the throne of England, but my favourite son, Richard the Lionheart did when Henry died in 1189.

Ma Cherie Demi, I wish you luck with your younger lover, but time is the cruellest enemy of the fairer sex. Perhaps you could take the advice of the other grande dame, Ivana Trump.

“Don’t just get even. Take it all!”

Eleanor (Alienor)

Countess of Poitou, Duchess of Aquitaine

Former Queen of France

Past Queen of England.


If you would like to read more of this feisty, fascinating woman, I would suggest

Alison Weir, The Captive Queen, an historical fictionalised account of her life and

Eleanor of Aquitaine, An historical account of her life..

Thanks for sharing a period that is deep in the mists of time with me but as we can see the problems of romance remain the same.

Elle Fynllay


Jenn J McLeod said...

You continue to surprise and amaze me, Elle. What a hoot! What a mind! (and she takes great pics :)

Cassandra Samuels said...


What a fantastic way to start the week. I love how you made it a personal missive from one woman to another.

Such a great way to teach us all about Eleanor.

Annie Seaton said...

Oh Elle,
I love your voice. Get that book finished so we can read more of your work. I learned more about Eleanor from your little snippet than I did in all my history studies. She came alive!
Well done!

Annie Seaton said...

Oh Elle,
I love your voice. Get that book finished so we can read more of your work. I learned more about Eleanor from your little snippet than I did in all my history studies. She came alive!
Well done!

Allison Butler said...

Hi Elle,

Congratulations on a fabulous post. And such a clever way of delivering it:) What a fascinating woman Eleanor Of Aquitaine was. Thanks so much for sharing:)

Vonnie Hughes said...

I agree with Annie. With that short snippet I learned more about Eleanor of Aquitaine than I've ever learned from history books. A tough, ambitious, worldly woman - good on her.

Maggi Andersen said...

What a woman! I want her life, well most of it!

Karlene Blakemore-Mowle said...

Great post! :D what a woman--great to see such feisty women in history brought to life! But as for Demi- oh puleeese- what did you honestly thing was going to happen eventually? I don't care how good you look for sixty...fifty... forty- however old you're supposed to be! The guy is going to get sick of having a mother instead of a wife eventually! She should have stuck with Bruce!

Christina Phillips said...

What a fun post, Elle! I love this period of history :-)

Elle Fynllay said...

LOL So Harsh Karlene! LOL
Yes, life eventually catches up with all of us.
One has to be philosophical about it all.
Just like jumping out of an aeroplane without a parachute:
It’s a wild ride while it lasts.

Elle Fynllay said...

Thanks ladies for all the comments so far. If only our history lessons were couched in terms of "who was bedding who at the time", we all would have been A+ students.

Kerri Williams writer of romance said...

Awesome post and sadly I agree with karly. Demi and Bruce split devastated me. Lol

Cheryl Leigh said...

Fun post, Elle! Eleanor was such a strong and interesting woman. And didn't she have some fascinating offspring? ;)

Eleni Konstantine said...

Oh what a fantastic post. Thanks Elle.

Anonymous said...

Great Post Elle,
And I agree -- if history had been presented to us *back in the day* as it is now - fun, visual and dramatised, how more interested and knowledgeable would most of us been.
Learning stuffy old dates and wars .... the juicy stuff would have stayed with me longer I can assure you LOL

Sheridan Kent said...

I love your post Elle! I must agree about spicing up history. If my history teachers had assimilated the facts to modern times I may have been more interested.